Tag Archives: foodlove

11 Pretentious Food Terms


One of the biggest complaints people have with the food industry is the pretentious attitude.  The food world is full of people and establishments who reek of self-importance. We’ve developed a culinary lexicon that has become so convoluted, The gastro-glossary of words around the word is long and often confusing with many kitchen terms that chefs fully understand confusing their customers when they hit the menus in the dining room.


1.Hand-anything – hand-chopped, hand-pulled, hand-cut, hand-glazed…

Wow. What an ingenious method. So ingenious in fact that every grandma since the dawn of civilisation has been using this innovative method to prepare food.

2. Artisanal

So over-used, it’s losing its meaning. I mean, if every bakery down the road calls itself “Artisanal”, which really sounds more like “I’m just starting out, don’t have the funds or the time to do more than this”, then where is the line drawn between a true artisan and a wannabe?

3. Bespoke

Custom-crafted cocktails, madam? Yeah, and that $30 price tag that comes along with it. It’s all right. I’ll stick to that glass of boring wine.

4. Deconstructed

Oh, the things you learn from Master Chef. Here I was thinking that “Deconstructed” dishes meant the creator thought of a concept BEFORE he started plating the dish. But in reality, it seems like deconstructed is just a convenient term for when things start going awry in the cooking or plating process!

5. Foraged

Ok, yes so maybe those darn Chanterelle Mushrooms were really foraged from some forest in Scandinavia but, I’m not quite sure how to react when I see foraged items in urban city centres. Maybe I shouldn’t diss that poor weed growing out of the asphalt streets, after all.

Oh, how “lucky” am I that there are at least 5 artisanal bakeries in my neighbourhood – so I can learn essential skills in life, like being able to tell the difference between a fougasse and a flatkaka

Yes, and please charge me $30 for that alcohol-infused bespoke strawberry smoothie

What lovely mushrooms growing in the grass patch next to my car park. I wonder if I should forage for them?

6. Curated

We get it. You studied the fine arts of vegetables and have personally “Curated” what should appear on my plate. Heaven forbid, that damn carrot ruining the verdant look of lush forest greens.

7. Chef’s Menu or Omakase

This isn’t so much about the words Chef’s Menu or Omakase. It’s the way the staff hold on to the information about what’s on the menu with secrecy befitting the CIA.

Yes, it is a damn secret, I know. But really, I am already sitting at your restaurant, willing to splash out the moolah, so what’s up with not telling me even as I order the Chef’s Menu about what I am getting? Yes, they ask you about allergies and there’s always religious considerations. But what if you don’t have any of those restrictions but you just don’t really, really like a particular food? Like you may love some bacon bits in your appetiser but you absolutely cannot handle a full-on pork belly for a main. Do you just blanket tell them you don’t eat pork and miss out on trying other dishes of theirs?

8. No-description menus

You know, the ones that read like this – Beef|Pearls|Citrus and you’re like what?? What am I ordering, guys?

9. Giving me a geography lesson I do not need

Like telling me that the line-caught fish is from Moldova or something. Wait, do they even fish in Moldova? 

10. Giving me a French lesson that, again, I do not need

Yes, it’s a beautiful language where even saying “you’re a bloody ass of a cook” sounds so fancy, but it’s OK. You can still call a mashed potato a mashed potato and if it’s the silkiest, creamiest mash I have ever eaten, I will not care that it wasn’t a pomme puree.

11. Mouthfeel

Only usually ever uttered by the most pretentious wannabes, it’s meant to tell the rest of us plebeians that really, you are using ALL your senses when you dine. Clever girl.

Would this be more interesting if I said it was a locally-harvested Tiger Prawns, accompanied by hand-tossed gluten-free pasta in a prawn head organic chilli oil?

Curated puffs of delight, swimming in hand-pulled milk from a free range, organic bovine farm from the Scottish Highlands

“Oh, the mouthfeel of a Dragon Fruit”, she exclaimed, sighing with pleasure. Oh, did you mean you like the way the seeds pop in your mouth, say like, fizzy pop candy?


Pork Roast It’s Whats For Dinner

Pork Roast

  • Servings: 6
  • Difficulty: easy

A pork loin is marinated with a nice rub flavored with thyme and three chilies.

Ingredients

  • 1/2 Cup Brown Sugar
  • 1 Tablespoon Coarsely Ground Black Pepper
  • 1 Tablespoon kosher salt
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons garlic powder
  • 1 teaspoon dry mustard powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
  • 1/2 teaspoon onion powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes
  • 1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
  • 1/2 teaspoon smoked paprika
  • 1/4 teaspoon dried thyme leaves
  • 1 (2 1/2 pound) boneless pork loin roast

Directions

  1. Mix brown sugar, pepper, salt, garlic powder, mustard powder, ground ginger, onion powder, red pepper flakes, cayenne pepper, cumin, paprika, and thyme in a bowl. Rub spice mixture over pork loin and wrap tightly in plastic wrap. Place pork on a 9×13-inch baking dish and refrigerate for 4 hours to overnight.
  2. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Remove plastic wrap from pork and discard; return pork to baking dish.
  3. Bake in the preheated oven until pork is slightly pink in the center, about 50 minutes. An instant-read thermometer inserted into the center should read at least 145 degrees F (63 degrees C). Cover pork loosely with aluminum foil and let rest for 10 minutes before slicing.


Poisonous Foods You Are Probably Eating

Sport Drinks

You may think that you’re refueling, topping up on electrolytes, but sport drinks within America contain some harsh chemicals. All the major name brands use brominate vegetable oil in their citrus-flavoured beverages and sport drinks.

Vegetable oil

that doesn’t sound too bad, right? Well, brominated vegetable oil was originally patented as a flame retardant. It is known to increase your risk of cancer and autoimmune diseases, as well as a wide range of other problematic symptoms. The worst part is, it’s known to bioaccumulate in human tissue. Get into the habit of drinking more water and ditch these toxic products.

Cassava (Yuca)

Though not too widely used in the United States, cassava is a woody shrub that is generally found in the Caribbean and South America. When using cassava, it can either be made to be sweet or bitter. The taste, as well as the smell, all depends on the amount of cyanogenic glucosides, which are in fact, extremely poisonous. Most who prepare it like it to be bitter, as it keeps away insects and even animals. If cassava is prepared incorrectly, it can be deadly. Cassava poisoning, due to high levels of Cyanide, is known as Konzo. Cassava poisoning leads to irreversible paralysis.

Interesting fact: Cassava roots are ground into a flour-like substance which is then used to make tapioca. Cassava leaves contain cyanide but if pounded into a paste with flour and left in the shade for 5 hours, the cyanide is broken down.

Bread Containing Brominated Flour

From wraps to bagels, bread crumbs to baked goods, any commercially baked food that contain brominated flour, is essentially toxic. Enriched with potassium bromate, this chemical is supposed to increase elasticity.

Many bread products are already known to increase issues surrounding obesity and diabetes, however, the addition of potassium bromate makes matters worse. It has been linked to decreased nervous system function, thyroid complications, cancer, and kidney damage. Invest in a bread maker, so you know exactly what you’re consuming.

Farmed Salmon

There’s no doubt that salmon is an incredibly healthy source of fat and protein, as well as a number of other Vitamins and minerals. Where your salmon is sourced, however, will make a significant difference regarding its health benefits and in this case, health risks. Not only do farm-raised salmon contain 50 percent less omega-3 fatty acids, they are also potentially exposed to a wide range of toxic chemicals.

It’s been found that farm-raised salmon contain higher levels of mercury, PCBs, and dioxins than wild-caught salmon. To make them appear more pink, they’re fed petrochemicals — not to mention the chemicals that are found within their daily diet. The real worry is that up to 90 percent of these toxins bioaccumulate in the human body and can be passed onto your firstborn child.

Puffer fish

Puffer fish stand to be the second most poisonous vertebrate in the world. Though you won’t find puffer fish in the U.S., many in Korea as well as Japan find some parts of the fish to be delicacies. However, certain organs of the fish, such as the liver, as extremely toxic, and can be deadly. The poison in the fish, known as tetrodotoxin, can cause numbness, high blood pressure, and muscle paralysis, which is what leads to death as the diaphragm muscles become Paralyzed, disabling breathing. Known as fugu when eaten as a meal, many in Asian countries refuse to stop eating the fish.

Interesting fact: Puffer fish has been made illegal to be eaten by the Emperor of Japan.

 

Meat Tainted with Ractopamine

It’s no secret that conventionally raised meat is packed with chemicals, not to mention the horrendous conditions that some animals are exposed to. You may think you are only eating chemicals relating to their food, but pigs, cattle, and turkeys are all injected with Ractopamine – a drug that was originally used to treat asthma.

It’s a muscle relaxer, that is known to reduce the fat content in meat. When you purchase that meat, as much as 20 percent remains, which you then consume. Unbelievably, since 1998, nearly 2,000 people have been poisoned after eating pigs that were fed this drug. Within dairy herds, it has been shown to cause disability and death. In terms of human health, this drug attacks the cardiovascular system and can cause chromosomal abnormalities.

Macaroni and Cheese

Besides the preservatives that are added to this heavily processed food, boxed macaroni and cheese contain two dangerous food dyes – Yellow 5 and Yellow 6. Considering this food is often fed to children, the research regarding these additives is alarming.

Although behavioral issues aren’t necessarily fatal, they can be extremely detrimental to one’s well-being. These dyes have been linked to a number of serious behavioral issues, including hyperactivity and learning disabilities. Since they’re petroleum-based, they’ve also been associated with cancer.

Fat-Free Snacks

Fat-free snacks are known to promote weight gain, typically due to their high sugar content, but that’s not all you need to worry about. Fat-free potato chips, for instance, often contain Olean or Olestra and is stated in the media to be one of the top 50 worst inventions.

A wide range of side effects have been reported based on the consumption of Olestra, including significant weight gain, intestinal issues, and worst of all, a depletion of fat-soluble vitamins. If your body cannot absorb vitamins A, D, E, and K, you increase your risk of disease. Currently banned in Canada and the UK, the United States continues to distribute this additive.

rBGH Milk and Dairy

There’s no doubt that Americans love dairy products, however, in order to keep up with the demand, rBGH was developed. This artificial hormone mimics natural bovine somatotropin — the hormone which increases the production of milk.

Injected into one out of every six cows, this synthetic hormone causes significant adverse effects. Cows have been shown to suffer from 16 related health conditions, including high rates of mastitis (inflammation of breast tissue). Once consumed by humans, it increases your risk of breast, colorectal, and prostate cancers.